Inspired by workisnotajob

Okay, I spent so many hours on workisnotajob yesterday.  When I moved to Chicago I chose to work for a company I love, and use the spare time I might get from not working a regular 9-5 job to do projects I am passionate about.  I may not get as much, but I cannot believe how good I feel being excited to go to my job.  How thankful I am and proud to be a part of this company. 

I lucked out with a company that the more you learn about it the more you love it.  In my spare time I can enjoy myself or delve into other work I love.  I'm happier with a job I love, than a job that pays well.  Maybe if I can move up in the company I can have both, but right now I'm just happy being a part of a great company.

My work is not a job.  It is my passion, and I am thankful everyday I chose to do this instead of getting lots of money at a job I did not love.

It reminds me of the film Lemonade.  See it if you ever get the chance.

Find A Space, Thank you John Cleese

Of all of John Cleese's factors to help creativity blossom, space always stuck with me.  They are all brilliant, but I desperately need help with this one. 

“You can’t become playful, and therefore creative, if you’re under your usual pressures.”

This talk is worth watching for anybody, especially creatives.   Play!  Make mistakes!  And give yourself enough time to find multiple solutions.  The first is rarely correct, and that doesn't make you a poor designer or intellectual.  

But back to the point.  Find a place.  When you are alone with your thoughts, you are honestly left with your own ideas.  That is rather daunting, but your creativity deserves your full attention.  It is miraculous what you can accomplish in the "open mode."

Starting all over again

So I faded into nothingness on here.  Moved back in with my mom and then moved to Chicago a month later.  Been an exciting few months for sure.

I'm starting over and starting again.  To do that, especially for me, like any idea you let go of you need to forgive yourself and anyone who still gives you pain.  Forgive, accept and move on!  There is no point carrying the pain of failed projects, lost loves and dreams.

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you leave the guilt behind, accept the good, the bad and the choices you've made.

Ideas versus Beliefs

The usual argument I hear or talk about is how we kill for beliefs.  We fight for them.  Whereas ideas are far more malleable. You can be wrong with an idea more often and more comfortably than you can with a belief. 

The thing that has me wondering now is why we feel the need to push beliefs on others.  It isn't enough to believe them.  Instead we force others to see as we do and believe as we do.  Is it gratifying?  Does it reassure you that you are right?

In a way it seems the need to convert others to your beliefs is a sign of a weak argument or belief.  Or just perhaps a sign of character.  It shouldn't matter what others believe.  The point remains, it is what you believe.  Inform others if you feel the need, but there is a difference between informing and stuffing your beliefs down someone's throat.

I'm ranting a bit today.  Apologies.

Being a loner.

I was once told if you were academically gifted or bright, chances were good you would be lonely most of your life.  You wouldn't be understood, you wouldn't fit in.  That being said, that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you or the people who don't understand you.

If you are lucky there will be a handful of people in your life that will understand you.  A handful.  That is disturbingly few, but also a lot in a way.  That doesn't make much sense, but I am prone to ramble.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I'm okay with that.  The freedom that comes with knowing you will not be fully understood or accepted by almost everyone you ever meet really let me stop caring about pleasing everyone.  I am less prone to apologize to everyone.  Hide myself from everyone.   If I am really lucky 3-5 people will get me.  Then I have my monkeysphere.  Then every one else.

That knowledge, that I will be lonely for most of my life in one way or another was the most freeing thing I've heard in 23 years.