Don't stop learning

What was the last time you learned something? How long ago was it since it was something big? More than a day? Did you do anything with this knowledge? Nope?

Me either usually.

At least not enough. I think knowledge washes over most of us. It comes in one ear and out the other. We hear tragic or amazing news and file it mentally in mundane or uninteresting.

Too often do I give up on pursuing something interesting, to continue doing the same. What a shame.

What I am grateful for

I'm grateful for many things. Usually we are grateful for the good, but I am very thankful for the bad as well. Without it I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have grown or matured to the woman I am know without learning the lessons that came along with the bad.

The bad challenges me every day to be better. To learn in a way my many blessings can't teach me.

Happiness can be found in strange locations

We all have usual places we go looking for happiness. Food, TV, shopping/retail therapy, alcohol, movies, friends, sex, curio games,  exercise and things we don't need. Usually some combination in there helps a little. The thing that helps me is being a little overwhelmed. Strange as it seems. I don't use it as a distraction, but more of a catalyst. I don't wanna sleep, I'm so giddy and productive feeling!

So, don't be afraid to look in unusual places for a little more happiness.

Unusual (and perhaps a little morbid) musings.

I had all my music on shuffle and Avenue Q came on. The song For Now is one of my favorites. No matter how rough a day gets, the knowledge that everything is temporary (except death and taxes) seems to help. The highest highs and lowest lows are always temporary.

Life is terrifying, and short... Isn't that great? I feel so free knowing that, counterintuitive as it may be.

Goal setting

When I graduated college I bought a book about where I wanted to be in 5 years. It made a comment about how the majority of people say they have zero goals. Others had some but didn't know really what they are. Most of the ones left knew their goals but seldom reviewed them. Less than 1 percent of people reviewed the goals they made and they were usually the most successful.

With all the time I can save not making plans and just living my life, it gives me great opportunity to set goals and review them. The closer I am with my goals the easier I can meet them.

Time spent making plans

I don't know about you guys but my best plans can often be the ones I didn't plan out, or the planning of some basically talks me out of it. I waste an amazing about of time making plans. Plans I seldom if ever do.

Time to just go out and do those things. If the lists and wasted hours aren't helping, stop depending on them. I trust myself enough to be okay when I wing it. If not, I fail and move on to some new adventure.

Thoughts on yolo

I dislike the "you only live once" mentality. It encourages a lot of amazing things and really stupid ones too. We can do better.

Today I spent time with the man I love, cooked for a big party with lots of experimenting and had tea and lots of great conversations afterwards. I did what I loved all day. Ignoring going to the post office, but I loved the accomplished feeling I got after.

Anyways, life is short and precious. Yolo isn't about trying crazy stuff, it's about living every day to its fullest potential. Doing what you love and changing peoples' lives.

Took the photo yesterday

After closing last night at work I sat outside for 15 minutes. No distractions, nothing. I could just feel myself relax and became aware of the clutter in my head. Usually long showers, sleep or yoga help alleviate that. Last night however I just needed that time alone with nothing to do or think.

Plus more doodling. Let's face it. Every once in a while we need silence.

Gotta do, what you gotta do.

In a conversation today about how your mood can effect others this phrase came up. I naturally ignore fake it till you make it, but in terms of mood this was awesome. When I make myself smile and cheery I often get happier. Dancing around to happy music usually cheers me up to. Just as changing your walk can change your mood, so can a lot of other activities.

The same applies to negative emotions, but I don't want to fake anger till I'm actually angry at work. No thank you.

As silly as it sounds I like tricking myself into feeling better. I smiled more yesterday, it helped. I want my joy, excitement and passion to be infectious. Not my frustrations. Also helps to work some place I love.

Nothing fancy.

I need to clear my mind, but until then I need to smile more. I have so much to be thankful for and happy about. Can't get bogged down by distractions.

Also, the pen I used today was crap. Need a different one.

Go for it!

Sometimes you can't work a miracle. Dreams get postponed. That doesn't mean you give up. Keep making a difference. There is always more than one way.

Pick your battles well

There are times to be polite. To please others even if it isn't what you want. There are also times to stand your ground on what is right for you. It isn't necessarily rude to stand your ground. Just pick your battles and stay true to yourself.

No one is awesome at everything.

Some natural behaviors don't help you succeed at work. Vague, but true. Sometimes coaching to change those behaviors can make you defensive.

No one is awesome at everything. Admit you suck at doing it a certain way. Try and be aware of it so you don't slip back into that behavior and work at it every chance you get! Improving those skills will help you succeed. You want to and if people are coaching you, they want you to as well.

Don't feel bad about doing nice things

We do lots of nice things and them beat ourselves up about any inconvenience we may have caused trying to be nice. Get over it. Be nice and enjoy it. Feeling guilty taints the while gesture.

Work styles

This one seems really obvious. Still, it's important to talk about. I work best alone, with music or videos playing and usually too many things going on. When others see me work it can be amusing.

I have my my desktop with two screens. My phone. My laptop sometimes too. Plus my kindle or sketchbook as well. The thing is, that way works for me.

When I see others work differently I need to not judge. Be true to how you work. You do your best work that way. Early in the morning, late at night, outside, at a desk, sofa or bed. Don't be pressured to do it the "right" way.

Late night ponderings

I really should be sleeping.

However, I was thinking about how quickly you can damage your credit or GPA and how much longer it takes to fix those mistakes. On one hand it really, really sucks. On the other, it is completely worth it. Undeniably.

Make glorious mistakes and take the years, if not decades to fix them. No one is perfect. Everybody has their slow fixes.

Wait for it.... NOW!

Somethings take forever to happen, some too fast.  But when they arrive, go with it.  I can't force the perfect apartment to appear, or job or anything.  I'd rather do it right than rush.  Or worse watch it pass you by. 

I don't know what else to say without rambling.  Sometimes you have to wait.  Keep an eye open for the right moment or idea. 

What a crazy week!

This will be a bit of a long post, a lot to catch up on.  But I've got energy, tea and Doritos, let's do this. 

Wednesday I went to work and trained which was lovely, but I checked my email after and learned I got into grad school.  Or half at least.  (Dual Program)  I don't think I stopped squeaking.  Mouth moved for a bit, but I don't think I got anything out besides "Oh my god..."  What an honor.  I still need to get into the other half and try and get aid, but knowing they saw the potential was astounding.  So, the first one.  Don't be scared when your dreams come true.  When you do what you love, your dreams will come true, just don't be scared when it actually happens.  It's okay. 


Be thankful for every kindness.  When you are fortunate enough to be around amazing, kind people who treat you well or give you gifts be thankful. Don't expect it, or demand it, but when it happens be in the moment, love it and be thankful.  But from the big to the little they are all important and special.  Gifts, phone calls, a hug, anything.

When an adventure comes knocking, say yes!!  Let's go see a live blues band at an amazing blues club.  Say yes.  Opportunities aren't always there, so take a chance, try it.  Being tired, cranky, pmsing and lazy aren't good enough excuses to skip out on life's great adventures and moments.  Sometimes it might suck, it isn't a good enough reason to not try.  Don't say no to adventures!

Being a grown up isn't a good reason to stop all childish things.  They were amazing then and some should not be left in the past.  Two nights ago I went to a playground and got on the swings.  I missed that so much.  A group of us just played like kids.  Not damaging anything or being reckless but just enjoying playing.  That innocence and joy.  Often times grownups are penalized for playing with children's toys, but we need that reckless, unbridled fun.  Go out and play!


Love often and a lot!  Yesterday I went to a few of my friend's high school graduation.  Pomp and circumstance makes me a little bitter, and it is often really hot and icky.  Still, I loved those graduates and seeing the love the crowd had for each graduate was overwhelming.  We went to dinner and toast after toast was so full of love.  Life is better that way.  Don't be stingy with your love.

Anyways, I'm going to get away from my computer and find some inspiration for today's post.  Though I am so glad to catch up on here.

Inspired by workisnotajob

Okay, I spent so many hours on workisnotajob yesterday.  When I moved to Chicago I chose to work for a company I love, and use the spare time I might get from not working a regular 9-5 job to do projects I am passionate about.  I may not get as much, but I cannot believe how good I feel being excited to go to my job.  How thankful I am and proud to be a part of this company. 

I lucked out with a company that the more you learn about it the more you love it.  In my spare time I can enjoy myself or delve into other work I love.  I'm happier with a job I love, than a job that pays well.  Maybe if I can move up in the company I can have both, but right now I'm just happy being a part of a great company.

My work is not a job.  It is my passion, and I am thankful everyday I chose to do this instead of getting lots of money at a job I did not love.

It reminds me of the film Lemonade.  See it if you ever get the chance.

Find A Space, Thank you John Cleese

Of all of John Cleese's factors to help creativity blossom, space always stuck with me.  They are all brilliant, but I desperately need help with this one. 

“You can’t become playful, and therefore creative, if you’re under your usual pressures.”

This talk is worth watching for anybody, especially creatives.   Play!  Make mistakes!  And give yourself enough time to find multiple solutions.  The first is rarely correct, and that doesn't make you a poor designer or intellectual.  

But back to the point.  Find a place.  When you are alone with your thoughts, you are honestly left with your own ideas.  That is rather daunting, but your creativity deserves your full attention.  It is miraculous what you can accomplish in the "open mode."

Starting all over again

So I faded into nothingness on here.  Moved back in with my mom and then moved to Chicago a month later.  Been an exciting few months for sure.

I'm starting over and starting again.  To do that, especially for me, like any idea you let go of you need to forgive yourself and anyone who still gives you pain.  Forgive, accept and move on!  There is no point carrying the pain of failed projects, lost loves and dreams.

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you leave the guilt behind, accept the good, the bad and the choices you've made.